The Worst Metaphors for Our Relationship

Originally published in Unsplendid 7.1

Court transcript with the juicy parts redacted
Banquet hall buffet          wisdom teeth impacted

An ambulance driving with its siren off
Our once-firm mattress now going soft

Boring B-roll on the director’s cut
Drug trial placebo            pay-per-view smut

Marathoner on mile twenty losing steam
Chernobyl, Pompeii, Hiroshima             a dream

Forgotten upon waking           a play without plot
A gift basket of fruit just starting to rot

Asleep at nine on New Year’s, too drunk
To get it up           flat tire, no spare in the trunk

A mine of conflict diamonds           soufflé that won’t set
A sing-song sonnet of rhyming couplets